lifetime membership

this title actually has two meanings one of which is quite morbid. firstly, you may or may not know that I am a life time member of the girl scouts. Sure this does not sound that weird until you realize that I (Bobby) am writing this post. So anyhow, I am a lifetime member of the girl scouts. This was my birthday gift from my mother on my 18th birthday. You know I already had a car and really what does giving money really say and so she got me a lifetime membership. This has brought a great amount of laughter from my freinds on numerous occasions. I mean who really gets their 18 year old son a lifetime membership for Girl Scouts? 10 years later it all seems like its coming together. I bought some GS cookies the other day and got to thinking about when Bailey would start in scouts and the the membership and all that. This is when I realized that my mom is to blame for me having 3 out of 4 girls. On top of that Noah can sing higher than any soprano i have ever heard and is currently wearing a pair of Disney Princess Edition Eye Glasses. Of course he loves the Red Sox and i'm sure he'll eventually grow up and be my manly manly boy (this being said by the guy who likes to shop more than his wife and is a lifetime member of the girl scouts!) Anyhow, for the first time since the gift that I didn't really want 10 years ago, I appreciate the forethought of my mother. Soon it will become very useful.

Now the morbid thought, My dad died at 52. For years I claimed 26 was when I would go through my midlife crisis. While the crisis never actually happened I have always had this vision of a clock, in my head, counting down from 52 years. Despite this I have always been in perfect health. Recently this has started to change. I was recommended for a procedure. Which I am not excited to talk about but am willing but for now we will just refer to it as the procedure. This "procedure" had me very nervous, I didn't sleep much the night before and was very tense. No one really picked up on this because I have an insane ability to hide my stress. I just deal with it in a way that I believe helps eliminate future stress. (Basically I keep it inside and let it hurt my body rather that other peoples feelings.) Anyhow during this procedure my heart rate never dropped below 90. This is extremely odd because I was completely sedated for about half and hour. I'm talking about gas, I mean I was drugged and completely unconscious. And the heart never slowed. On top of this the heart read out picked up on a number of odd beats. Things that I later learned are PVC's.

People in the health field are funny. They want to insist urgency without inviting panic. I understand this much better now. First I talked to my sister. An RN for roughly 27 years with the last 12 or so in a ER unit in the OKC Metro. She was there when I had the procedure and said that she would document these PVC's as very frequent if she were monitoring for a doctor. Also said that its nothing to worry about but that I should let my doctor know about it. I said okay and that was that.

Two days later I get a call from my sister. "what did the doctor say?"(Tammy) "I thought you said it was no bid deal?" (ME) "I said that you shouldnt worry but you should let your doctor know" (Tammy) "I just didn't realize this was an urgent matter" (ME) "Let your doctor decide, GO TO THE DOCTOR!" (Tammy)

This caused me some concern and so I decided to consult everyones favorite free medical consultant, Dr. Kyle (a.k.a. former kappa president Kyle Hollingsworth) Kyle basically says that these are very common, usually caused by caffeine and stress but that a lot more people that have these than people who know they are having them. He said I should let my doctor know about it just to be safe. I am calmed, I thank him and go on about my merry way.

Two days later I run into Kyle at church and he says "what did your doctor have to say?"

You get the point. By the way, it turns out that my heart is fine and the PVC's were only caused due to the "procedure" and had no evidence of any PVC's now.

Back to the morbid point, I lost just over 12lbs in January. Most of this due to my concerns about caffeine and fat that could possibly make my heart worse off. So I ate a very low fat diet, ate a lot of healthy foods, high in grains, nutrients, and vitamins. And really almost no fat whatsoever. Then after I have lost this 12 lbs I give some blood at the CofC blood drive. Yesterday we got the results back. Every area was elevated. High Cholesterol, High Blood pressure, high whatever else they measure. The only positive is that my pulse was 68. Anyhow after the slight delay caused by my good news about no more PVC's, I'm back in count down mode. But don't worry, I've still got at least 24 years.